3 Things to Make Transitioning from Working Mom to SAHM Easier
As I write this I am transitioning again from working outside the home to stay-at-home mom. Yep, you read that correctly, this is my second time doing this transition.
Let’s start with a bit of a backstory so you know I’m not just blowing smoke when I say that these 3 things really help when you are transitioning to stay-at-home mom life.
Essentially this is a ‘‘what I wish I’d done the first time’’ list that I am doing this time to make it easier.
In 2020 during the height of the pandemic, I transitioned from teaching full time to stay home with our 18 month old and newborn twins. Okay, well I transitioned home before the twins were born, but they came along quickly after I left my job (1.5 months later).
After 2.5 years at home with our kids, we changed things up again and I returned to work in December 2022.
While I absolutely loved my job (just like I loved my teaching job) our situation necessitates my return to staying home. So this week starts my second tenure as a stay-at-home mom and I am determined to make it go smoother than last time.
I’ve learned quite a few things throughout all these staying home/working outside the home transitions and these are the top 3 recommendations I have to make the transition to staying home easier.
1. Keeping a routine
This is number one for a reason. It’s the key to making sure you are still taking care of yourself and feeling like you are actually being productive.
Establish some type of routine (not schedule) in those first weeks home. It’s tempting to just wing it, but you and your child(ren) will benefit from routine, especially if your kids are already accustomed to a pre-school/school routine.
For me, I’m keeping my morning routine similar to when I was working (ie - getting myself ready before the kids wake up) and using the kids’ quiet time (12-2pm) to work on my business, and the evenings are reserved for fun!
For the kids, our routine includes outside time after breakfast each day, 1-2 hours of learning before lunch, quiet time (12-2pm), free play/playdate/adventure in the afternoon, dinner, and bedtime routines. *note - aside from quiet time, everything else is fluid and changes regularly*
Remember that this routine is meant to be a tool to help you keep the day flowing. If it starts to feel more like a chain, then change the routine. They aren’t meant to be set in stone. As an example, the routine I’m using now before we move will change once we are in our new home and my husband is not working remotely from the house.
2. Leave the house regularly
There are two reasons I have leaving the house on the list. The first reason is probably the most immediately pressing one in the first few weeks. Leaving the house means you can talk to adults.
That was the hardest part of transitioning home the first time. Yes, the pandemic was a large factor in that, but I’d also never gone long stretches of time without having high academic conversations. It was a huge adjustment. So if are also transitioning home from a profession where you are using technical language and having ‘‘grown up’’ conversations regularly, it may be tough for you.
Talking to tiny humans (assuming they aren’t just making baby/toddler noises at you) is not nearly as intellectually stimulating. Ensuring you head out and have conversations with adults will help keep your brain engaged.
And reason two is that changing the environment changes attitudes. Getting some fresh air, or going anywhere that isn’t inside your house, acts as a reset for behaviors. It works with the kids, but more importantly, it works on my attitude!
3. Adjust your expectations
Change is a big deal, and it can be hard to adjust. Especially with kids.
Whether you are transitioning home after the birth of a child, or transitioning home with older kids, those first few months can be challenging as everyone adapts.
Adjust your expectations and lower the bar where you can.
In the first few weeks, plan on cleaning a little less frequently, make less involved meals, shorten learning time blocks, etc.
Delegate and outsource tasks as you are able to. Remember kids can help in the house too.
Do what you can to lessen the pressure to do it all yourself.
Bonus Tip
Because transitions are stressful, make sure you are adding in something for yourself every day. You do have 10-30 minutes somewhere in your day that you can devote to a joy bringing activity. Read as - not hygiene, side hustles, or other things you need to do - just something you enjoy because it makes you happy.